When I reflect upon how life has changed since bringing home my very first newborn, I can't help but wonder how life will be changed again, in taking my last-born away to college.
As moving day approaches, I account for the right size sheets, enough "white" t-shirts and even a few of his favorite midnight snacks, but most of all, I account for the profound.... His need to find his way is taking a front seat, I know who he is but not who he will become.
I am faced with rewriting motherhood as I have known it these past 20 + years. Oh sure, I will always be his mother, but in the words of Madeline Levine, "Motherhood inextricably weaves growth and loss together from the moment of physical separation at birth to every milestone passed. Some part of me must have known that each move toward independence--from zipping a jacket to hanging out at the mall to driving a car--meant not only that my son was more capable, but also that I was less necessary."
A sense of loss may lurk in the periphery now and again, and yes, the tears may fall when the realization of permanent changes begin to set in, but for now, that farewell moment at the dorm feels more like an expression of a job well done.
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